Bloody Brilliant!

Death of a (Questionable) Culture

When I go back home to America for a visit, there are two things I do the minute I get off the plane.  One is buy my fill of crap, useless gossip magazines, and the second is stock up on all Reese's peanut butter candy bar products that are new on the market and aren't available here in the UK.

This time, something was different.  As I cracked open the latest issue of US/People/InTouch/OK!/etc. etc., I saw picture after picture of D-list celebrity doing stupid things.  So far, so nothing new.  The difference is that I had absolutely no idea who these people were.  I'm pretty good on my D-list celebrity knowledge (we all have useless skills, don't we?), but I fear I have now lost touch with US pop culture. 

Charlotte Ross (below)?  Alexa Vega? Emanuelle Chriqui? Gillian Jacobs?  Sara Ramirez?

Shenae Grimes (below)?  Rashida Jones? Jessica Lowndes? Jesse Tyler Ferguson? Kerry Washington?

Page after page of even more useless pix, because what good is seeing how horrible they look if you don't even know who they are? It's only taken 5 years, but there is now a whole culture of crap celebrity in the US that I know nothing about. Pardon me while I mourn a little piece of my life that has died. (Melodramatic? Hardly).

Thank God my peanut butter products are still safe...

Starry Halloween

I love these pix - courtesy of Life Magazine's awesome online gallery.  I thought I'd share in honor of Halloween, the holiday I spend with the lights off so I don't have to deal with kids ringing my doorbell. And stealing my candy.  

For the record, Heidi Klum is really totally nuts. 

Tricks of the mind...

Peter sent this to me... kinda fascinating.  Or am I just a total dork?

Don't answer that.

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Eye Can't Take It

Holy sh*t.  

I'll tell you one thing... those Spaniards certainly know how to scare the bejesus out of a person (note: I'm not quite sure what a bejesus is, but I know for sure that I no longer have one).   Last night I saw Julia's Eyes, a new movie by a Spanish director and starring Belen Rueda, the same woman who was victimized in The Orphanage - another fantastic film.  Truth be told, I didn't really see much of the movie because I covered my own eyes throughout.  

What made the movie so terrifying is that it is all about anticipation (how is she going to get out of this?) and creepy atmosphere (the Spaniards also have a thing for dank cellars).  There is very little gore, and what there is isn't gratuitious and is genuinely terrifying.  During the tensest times, the director only shows Julia's face and no one else's - you see their bodies, and you see what they are doing - but the camera never quite pans up to show their faces.  It's subtle, but it's clever.

The mystery remains as to why I actually subject myself to horror films when I can't actually sit through them and stay scared for days after.  I will say, however, that well-executed creepy thrillers remain some of my favorites, like The Orphanage, The Others (despite Nicole Kidman) and the best of all time, Stanley Kubrick's The Shining.

 

 

Some people collect the strangest things...

I have been in the UK for almost five years, and I'm rather ashamed that it's taken me this long to get to the Cotswolds.  It's a beautiful part of the country, and it is exactly what us Americans imagine when we think of the stereotypical idyllic English countryside.  We visited a somewhat bizarre place called Snowshill Manor, which dates from the middle ages (is 821 considered the middle ages? it's old, anyway).   The building is supposedly haunted by some ghosties, one in particular who is named Jeffrey and lives in the kitchen.  He chose not to grace me with his presence, which I found quite rude.

This place is strange because it was bought by a wealthy old eccentric guy named Charles Wade, who collected all manner of stuff and displayed it here. There are samurai outfits, sketches, a load of old bicycles, costumes, and on and on. It is, quite frankly, creepy. It doesn't help that the light is kept low and the shades are drawn, for 'atmosphere.' But I suppose the world needs eccentrics, just to keep us all slightly off-balance.

Croc a Smile

Here's a funny joke that Peter sent to me today - I got quite the chuckle out of it and thought you might too:

A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours.  He also invited Colin,  the  only aborigine in the neighbourhood.

He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns, oysters and BBQ and flirting.

At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 15ft man-eating crocodile in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in.'

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Colin in the pool fighting the croc, jabbing the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of stuff like head butts and chokeholds, biting the croc on the tail and flipping the croc through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere.  Both Colin and the croc were screaming and raising hell.

Finally Colin strangled the croc and let it float to the top like a dead goldfish. 

Colin then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

The host says, 'Well, Colin, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'

'Nah, you all right boss, I don't want it,' said Colin.

The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet.  How about half a million bucks then?'

'No thanks. I don't want it,' answered Colin.

The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something.  That was amazing.  How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?'

Again, Colin said 'No.'

Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well Colin, then what do you want?'

Colin said, 'I just want the bastard who pushed me in.'

 

I Hate TMobile But I Love This!

It's true, I can't stand T-Mobile but I love - LOVE - the creative people in this ad.  Why doesn't this ever happen to me when I arrive at Terminal 5???

Thanks to Polly for sending this through to me - see you soon!

put a stamp on it

This year, I just can't do it.  I wish I could; I usually love doing it, but for some reason I'm simply not feeling up to it.

I'm referring, of course, to the annual practice of sending Christmas cards (what did you think I meant?  C'mon). 

For a girl who used to sell stationery to eschew paper greetings is rather sacrilegious, but I've made the painful but necessary decision to pass it up this year.  I absolutely LOVE receiving cards from my friends, and would be gutted if they made the same decision I did - it's the one chance I get to see how all of my friends' kids have grown, and what's happening in their lives, especially now that I live so far away from them.  But I'm just not sure how many people want to see pix of my own children, even though I think they are downright adorable. 

Here's hoping I get bitten by the Christmas card fairy next year.  In the meantime, let's see if anyone notices...

put the sewing kit down and eat

I really don't know what to make of Victoria Beckham.  On the one hand, she is a publicity hungry, over the top (in the thinnest way possible, of course) social climber, but on the other, she is a really talented designer.  One thing she could definitely use, however, is a burger. Or three.

go to the matinee, it's cheaper

I just saw District 9, and I cannot tell you how totally impressed I am (or can I?). As entertainment, it's terrific, and as a social statement, it's profound. The sign of a good movie is if you are still thinking about it the next day, and I am.  It's sickening to think that much of what the film is based on is real (ok, not the actual alien part, but apartheid) - and the slums aren't set designs, they were already there. 

Go and see this movie - it is incredibly compelling - and let me know what you think.