Bloody Brilliant!

Required viewing for Katie Couric

Charlie Brooker really cracks me up.  He is on a lot of comedy panel quiz shows here in the UK, and he is super sarcastic and always makes me laugh.  Here is a two minute sendup he does of a typical news segment, and it's sad just how spot on he really is.

February already. How can time be flying so, so fast?

get your mouse finger twitchy

Yes, I am an unabashed animal lover, and I know some of you are too (even YOU, Nick!).  

Here's something quick and easy you can do (wasn't being more charitable a New Year's resolution?  I thought so).

 

Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting  enough people to click on it daily so they can meet their quota of getting FREE FOOD donated every day to abused and neglected animals.  It takes less than a minute (about 15 seconds) to go to their site  and click on the purple box 'fund food for animals for free'. This  doesn't cost you a thing. 

Their corporate  sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food  to abandoned and neglected animals in exchange for advertising. 

Here's the web site - please pass it along to people you know. 

The Mighty Have Fallen

I met Jeff Zucker a long time ago and he was really nice to me.  It was 1999 and he was running the Today Show in New York, and he let me come to the set for a week.  I hung out in the control room, watched how the show was produced, stared at Matt Lauer (wouldn't you?) and stayed out of Katie Couric's way (wouldn't you?).

I never did pursue a career in television programming because I was too old to start from the bottom, and that's what you had to do in Hollywood.  But I'll never forget how kind he was to answer a letter I wrote to him and invite me to watch him work. 

It's been ages since he and I last spoke; I'm sure he wouldn't remember me now and he has gone on to greatness as the head of NBC (or some such illustrious title).  As ridiculous as it sounds, I feel sort of sorry for him right now because he is getting SLAMMED in the media for screwing over Conan O'Brien and frankly he seems to have made a mess of it.  Watch:

However, I don't feel sorry for long because he is no doubt richer than God and can retire tomorrow on a sandy beach while Conan and Jay pick up the pieces of their careers. I'll always like him for being nice to me, though. Amazing how the little things are what people remember most.

Terrorist Escalation

Thanks to Jim Blake, who never misses an opportunity to send a funny joke along...

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to  recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."  Soon, though, security levels  may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English  have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's Get the
Bastards". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they
have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300
years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France
are "Collaborate" and  "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent
fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing
the country's military capability.

It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert.  Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to  "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes
on all of their allies 'just in case'.

Canada doesn't have any alert levels.

And in the southern hemisphere...

New Zealand has also raised its security levels  - from "baaa" to "BAAAA". Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the air force being a squadron of
spotty teenagers flying paper airplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries"
to "She'll be al'right, mate."  Three more escalation levels remain:  "Crikey!",  "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

Some Smart Booties

The kind folks at Fitness Footwear sent Peter a fab pair of Solomon hiking boots and asked him for his opinion...

Guest post by Peter Hase

As the father of two young adult males, I know to my cost and dismay the high fashion and “pose” value of the training shoe industry. So it was with an eye on the crocodile, swoosh and three stripes that I opened the box from Fitness Footwear to reveal the two-tone grey and orange highlights of my new Salomon hiking boots. That said, to my eye, first look was attractive, functional and very well made.

In terms of technology, these are some impressive Gore-Tex boots with moulded inner-sole and grips that would challenge a Range Rover, so I was again impressed by the construction.

So how do they feel to wear? Very good indeed. I wore these shoes during the late December southern snows and then up in Edinburgh during New Year (including a trip round the Borders) and they were superb. The high lace of the boot design means that they can get a little tight on your calf but that also inspires confidence in that they do not slip. These shoes have awesome grip. They are fantastic when faced by compacted snow, ice or any other adverse terrain – very much a shoe that can be trusted on a hike.

And they stayed warm and dry. I did not need any special socks or other means to keep out the wet from snowy Hogmanay streets, with the ability to enter into an enthusiastic jig in no way impaired.

The brand is a specialist one, hence the name is not a fashion statement – perhaps the orange is an attempt to carve out some recognition – but that is a small price to pay for such quality, comfort and an overall feeling of secure walking – tested in somewhat adverse conditions.

Summary Scores on the doors: -

• Look and Design -  4
• Technology and Quality – 5
• Pose Value – 3
• Comfort – 5
• Grip and Durability – 5
• Ability to deal with Scottish Blizzards and Ice – 5+

Happy New Year

Right now Peter and I are in Newcastle, a stopover on the way to Edinburgh for New Years. My most pressing concern (besides staying warm)? Deciding what my resolutions are going to be! Yes I am a sucker for a resolution - maybe I am an eternal optimist, or more likely just foolish, but I love to make them. Have you made any resolutions?

put a stamp on it

This year, I just can't do it.  I wish I could; I usually love doing it, but for some reason I'm simply not feeling up to it.

I'm referring, of course, to the annual practice of sending Christmas cards (what did you think I meant?  C'mon). 

For a girl who used to sell stationery to eschew paper greetings is rather sacrilegious, but I've made the painful but necessary decision to pass it up this year.  I absolutely LOVE receiving cards from my friends, and would be gutted if they made the same decision I did - it's the one chance I get to see how all of my friends' kids have grown, and what's happening in their lives, especially now that I live so far away from them.  But I'm just not sure how many people want to see pix of my own children, even though I think they are downright adorable. 

Here's hoping I get bitten by the Christmas card fairy next year.  In the meantime, let's see if anyone notices...

well done London

London does outdoor events really well.  I'm always surprised to hear what crazy stuff is happening in Trafalgar Square, or in Hyde Park or, in this case, my own back yard.

I was in Covent Garden on Friday night and noticed a band was setting up to play in the inner courtyard.  Not unusual, as buskers always play here, but it looked a bit more professional so I stuck around to hear who it was.  Turns out I was in the right place at the right time (for once); the band was The Feeling and they were playing as part of a charity event series over the next few weeks. 

Of course, I had no idea what The Feeling played until they started singing and I recognised one of their songs, but of course I acted like I knew all along.  (Sorry for the crap pic below, but it is from my iPhone which doesn't have the most stunning photo capabilities).

a blue Christmas

I'm in a bit of a sassy mood so forgive me for any offense... but aren't these the best cards? Dean Morris is one twisted man. And I love him for it.